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Dignidad alopécica

Por suerte o por desgracia un cóctel de genes y hormonas han hecho de mí un hombre calvo. Una alopecia prematura me ha dejado la cabeza como el culo de una rana.

De todas maneras, a pesar de la tristeza inicial, con el tiempo he aprendido aceptarlo. He aprendido a llevar mi alopecia con, creo, cierta dignidad.

Sin embargo (todos lo sabemos) hay hombres que no acaban de encajar la caída de su otrora abundante mata de pelo y, en pocas palabras, hacen el ridículo.

Y no sólo eso, hacen que la dignidad del colectivo sin pelo disminuya muchos enteros.
 
Atención (redoble) porque he aquí las cosas que NO se deben hacer.
 
1.- No tomes a Anasagasti como ejemplo a imitar.

 
Este estilo de echar la cortina veneciana es probablemente el ejemplo más lamentable de hombre que no sabe aceptar su destino. Además es peligroso en días de viento. Osea, que si vives en Tarifa, descártalo amigo calvo.
 
2.- Nunca jamás te pongas peluca.
 
 
Si a Nicholas Cage no le queda bien, a ti tampoco. Olvida las ratas muertas, que no engañan a nadie. Todo el mundo sabe que ese pelazo no es tuyo y que, además, te has dejado una pasta en el bisoñé.
 
3.- JAMAS te implantes pelo.
 


¿Realmente quieres gastarte una millonada para poner pelos de otras partes de tu cuerpo en la "zona cero"? ¿De verdad quieres parecer una muñeca Barbie después de pasar la tiña? Acéptate tal y como eres.
 
4.- Si por fin has decidido ser calvo, por lo que más quieras, NO TE DEJES MELENA.
 

 
Ya sé lo que me vas a decir. Que Santiago Segura hace años que es un calvo melenudo y que le va bastante bien. Haces pelis, tele, tiene dinero... Sí, vale. Pero él no es más que la excepción que confirma la regla. Los calvos con melena apestan. Es así.
 
En fin, amigos de futura alopecia. Seguid estos consejos y mantened la dignidad del colectivo de bolas de billar intacta.
 
Recordad que siempre nos quedará un consuelo llamado Sean Connery.
Un hombre demuestra con su existencia que se puede ser más atractivo calvo que con pelo.

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